


Beard's Worst Nightmare

by Brian_Warner_is_bae



Series: Supernatural Songfics [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 5 am writings, Angst, Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, Beards (Relationships), Depressed Dean, F/F, F/M, Heartbroken Dean, Hurt Dean, Panic At The Disco (Band), Songfic, Suicide, Teen Angst, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, bi/pan character, secretly gay characters, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 10:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11205933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brian_Warner_is_bae/pseuds/Brian_Warner_is_bae
Summary: Highschool AU based on Girls/Girls/Boys by Panic! At The Disco. Dean was sucked into a situation he wished he was never a part of. He wished he had never made that stupid agreement with Little Miss Popular, and falling in love with her was definitely not part of the plan.TRIGGER WARNING





	Beard's Worst Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone leaves me any shitty comments about "turning someone straight/gay" or "you can't write about LGBTQ+ because you don't understand them/ aren't writing them well" please hear me out. I'm pansexual and have had experiences like the one I wrote about. Please don't get shitty with me over the direction I went with the lyrics. I'm not trying to make any sexualities look wrong or invalid in any way, shape, or form....  
> Now that that's over, enjoy.
> 
> Also, I don't want to refer to the reader by a name (obviously) and I want to challenge myself to not use Y/N. So that means that the reader will go by nicknames Dean/other characters give her. Just in case you were confused. I also tried not to give her any descriptions other than popular, so people of all shapes and colors can enjoy. Just because the reader is popular doesn't mean they are skinny, white, blonde bimbo. Anyone can be popular if they have the right charisma, friends, and attitude. That's what I observed in high school ( even though I was the geekiest of the geeks). As a chubby person, I really wanted to reach out to my fellow chubby people and write something that they, as well as non-chubby people, can enjoy.
> 
> P.s. I wrote this at 5 am with no sleep so sorry if it's super shitty.

I don't want to hear you got a boyfriend  
Sometimes you're better off alone

Dean walked to his car with her right on his heals. One of the hottest girls in school, the head cheerleader, and number one prep was now apparently a lesbian. Of course, no one in the entire school knew about little miss popular being a lesbian besides him and her girlfriend. No, Dean found out on accident. He was staying late after school working out after football practice, and just happened to see her making out with Elizabeth, her "best friend." This certainly explained why she always turned down every single dude that has ever asked her out. He was going to turn the other cheek and pretend that he didn't see anything, but it was too late. Elizabeth made eye contact with him, and now she knew that he saw them together. Then Elizabeth had to point it out to Little Miss Popular, and he's never seen someone run after him so fast. It was terrifying really. He just wanted to go home and take a hot shower and sleep. Before he could get into his car, she gripped his forearm to stop him from walking any further. "Hey Dean, could you spare a moment. I can explain what was going on. Please don't tell anyone what you saw! It would ruin our reputations if our friends found out. We've all known each other for a long time. You know how they are." He sighed heavily, "There's no need to explain anything. I have eyes. I wasn't going to tell anyone anyways, so don't worry about it." He was about to open his door so he could leave this awkward situation when she stopped him again, " Look you're the only other person who knows so if this spreads around I'll know who did it." He turned around and looked down at her, "Listen, I swear I could not care less about you and Elizabeth dating or whatever the hell you guys are doing. I'm actually happy for you because you're happy. You know, like a decent human being. I know we're not really great friends, but I'm not that much of a douche.... I need to go home now. If you guys need anything text me." Oh, how he regretted those words. Later that night, Little Miss texted him asking for a favor. Apparently, people were starting to get suspicious about Elizabeth and her's relationship and she needed a cover up. He explained to her how he doesn't want to get involved. He has enough on his plate as is. With his mother gone and a father that's always drunk or gone, he had to step up and take care of his younger brother Sam and be the main breadwinner of the house.

But if you change your mind you know where I am  
Yeah, if you change your mind you know where to find me  
But I don't ever want to be your boyfriend

She had offered him money. A lot of money. Just to pretend to date her. He really doesn't want to do it. It feels so wrong, but he can't turn down easy money when he's in the situation he's in. This money could help put more food on the table and give Sammy things he deserves like new clothes that actually fit him. He reluctantly accepted her offer. He would go up to her at school tomorrow and ask her out in front of all her friends. Now, they had to set up all the "relationship" rules.  
1\. No sexual touching in any way.  
2\. While at school or in public he would be required to hold her hand unless told otherwise.  
3\. They would go on a "date" every other weekend  
4\. Slight PDA (hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc.) will also be ignited in appropriate situations.  
5\. He must call her by a pet name or two  
It was nothing Dean couldn't handle and it seemed easy enough.

And never did I think that I  
Would be caught in the way you got me  
Push another girl aside and just give in

Dean arrived at school at his usual time and immediately went looking for her. He found her hanging out with her clique in front of their lockers. Like instructed he asked her out in front of all of them and watched them all giggle with excitement when she accepted. He couldn't help but look at Elizabeth with apologetic eyes when no one was paying attention. 'God, what am I letting this girl do to me? I feel like I've sold my soul to the devil.' He felt so bad for Elizabeth. It obviously didn't make her comfortable to see them act like a couple in front of her even if it was all fake. It was all too depressing for Dean and made him feel like a total asshole. Dean then grabbed Little Miss Popular's hand and started walking her to class. "Have you thought of a pet name to call me yet?" Dean tried to clear the awkward air with some small talk. She shook her head and laughed a little, "I'm trying to think of something a little more unique, but I can't. I might just call you babe for the time being." He nodded his head, "That's alright with me. I'm going to call you princess. It seems like a lot of girls are into that and your friends will probably get a kick out of it."

Girls love girls and boys (Sophisticated Manipulated)  
Girls love girls and boys (Sophisticated Manipulated)

Dean walked her to every single class she had, and when they would arrive out front, they would share a short kiss. The first time it happened, it took him off guard. She just got on her tippy toes and kissed him before heading inside. Now he knew the drill, and he was determined to not be caught off guard again. He asked her out on a "date" to the movies this weekend. He wanted it to be simple and hopefully pleasant for the both of them. The movies would be perfect. It's dark, doesn't require too much effort, you don't have to make conversation, and it's fairly cheap.

And never did I think that I  
Would be caught in the way you got me 

He still couldn't believe he was doing this, but alas here he was, outside her house waiting for her to answer the door. When the door opened, she was there with her parents. They apparently wanted to meet him. He acted the part of a respectable young man and responsible boyfriend. He promised her dad his intentions were pure and threw a little charm here and there to woo her mom. Honestly, he deserved an Oscar for his acting at this point. After that whole fiasco was over, they finally got their "date" started. Who knew faking a relationship would be so hard?

But girls love girls and boys  
And love is not a choice

The movie was great and Dean was actually surprised at how much he enjoyed her company. It's been a few months since they started "dating." Dean acted like the typical gold star boyfriend while in public, and they were actually starting to become good friends. He actually enjoyed hanging out with her, and they texted non-stop. It was almost like they were really dating....wait no. No, they weren't really dating. Dean had to keep reminding himself that. Yes, it was true that he saw her as a friend now and not just someone who hired him, but he can't allow himself to get too close. He shouldn't have to remind himself that they're not really dating. He should just know. God, he's screwed.

Pose, you've gotta save your reputation  
They’re close to finding out about your girlfriend

Dean read the text again just to make sure he was reading it correctly. 'Dean we're going to need to step it up. My parents and some of the girls are getting suspicious again....call me when you see this message.' What does step it up mean? How much more can they step it up? How in the hell are people still suspicious? Has he not been doing everything right? He immediately dialed up her number. "Hey pumpkin, I missed you," She answered. This cued him in that her parents or friends were nearby and that they would have to watch their words. "Hey Princess, I missed you to. Are you busy? Wanna go out for a burger and maybe a movie? I really wanna see you again baby." If he could get her away from whoever she was with, they could have a proper conversation and come up with a game plan. 

But if you change your mind you know where I am  
Yeah, if you change your mind you know where to find me  
But I don't want to save your reputation

On their six-month anniversary, Dean was starting to get tired of lying. This whole situation has nothing to do with him. He could easily call off the agreement and get back to his normal life. He missed dating around and having real relationships. This fake one was doing him no favors. It actually made him feel a lot lonelier. Here he was, in a relationship with a girl who wasn't even into him. Why did he even care about her reputation? So what if people were suspicious of her and Elizabeth's relationship? Who gives a shit? He was frustrated. He wanted to call it off, but he knew deep down that he couldn't. At first, he didn't really care about her. He was just too nice and felt bad for her. He could have called off the agreement then and would have felt nothing, but now he couldn't. He cared about her too much. She was his best friend, and he lov-...liked her too much. He didn't want her to get hurt or be bullied. He would feel bad if Elizabeth did to even though they aren't really friends. In fact, she despises Dean. He couldn't blame her though. I mean, he was "dating" her girlfriend. Holding her hand in public, hugging her, holding her, kissing her. Dean shook his head to snap out of those thoughts. Those types of thoughts were dangerous. One could mistake them for feelings, but Dean knew that he was just getting lonely. It didn't mean anything. He then drove to her house to pick her up for their anniversary dinner, which he was totally not excited about.

And never did I think that I  
Would be caught in the way you got me  
Push another girl aside and just give in

The impossible has finally happened. Dean was getting jealous of Elizabeth, and he was usually not the jealous type. When Elizabeth and his "girlfriend" would hang out, he would feel irritated. Actually, irritated's an understatement, he'd feel pissed. Blind with white-hot rage. He knew he shouldn't have been because she was not his. Her heart and love were not his to have. They were rightly Elizabeth's. He wanted her to care about him the same way she cared about Elizabeth, but he knew that would never happen. It started out with only feeling a slight twinge of jealousy that Dean would quickly push away and now he couldn't if he tried. It's been a year since this whole lie started. For a whole year, he has been lying to everyone about a girl who probably couldn't give two shits about him. He was so infuriated at himself and this whole situation. He knew he brought this on himself, but he's only human. Humans form attachments and he just happened to form the wrong one. He has never hated himself more than he did right now.

Girls love girls and boys (Sophisticated Manipulated)  
Girls love girls and boys (Sophisticated Manipulated)

Dean was sitting on the chair in her living room trying desperately to pay attention to the movie that was playing and not the fact that Elizabeth and his girlfriend were making out on the couch next to him. He was trying to ignore the feelings he was feeling. He was exasperated and miserable. He wanted to be Elizabeth desperately. He wanted to be loved for once. If only. "Hey lovebirds, I just got a text from Sam. I need to go home and help him clean up a mess my dad made. I'll text you later," okay maybe he lied, but he couldn't handle being near them any longer. He felt like the most forlorn person in the entire human existence.

And never did I think that I  
Would be caught in the way you got me But girls love girls and boys  
And love is not a choice

Dean has never been one to get depressed, but right now he was depressed. It was all because he wanted someone he couldn't have. He knew it was stupid. He shouldn't feel so alone, but he did. Sure he still had his old friends, but he always had her on his mind. He started to think of her as his Princess. He wouldn't dare call her that outside of acting or his thoughts, but it was nice to pretend. He wanted to forget his isolation and pretend that his Princess loved him. This made him feel better. At least in his mind, he could be truly happy with her.

I'm just a villain vying for attention from a girl  
A girl who can't decide And here's the reason why

Dean couldn't do it anymore. Two years of lying was enough. He was going to man up and tell her how he felt. He would do anything for her and he wanted her to know that. He pulled out his phone and called her, "Hey Princess, I have something important to tell you. I'll pick you up in five minutes and take you to the park." She agreed and hung up. He was so nervous, he felt like throwing up. He quickly got ready and drove to her house.

Girls love girls and boys  
Girls love girls and boys Girls love girls and boys (Sophisticated Manipulated)  
Girls love girls and boys(Sophisticated Manipulated)

The car ride to the park was silent. The only noise came from Dean's radio. When they arrived at the park, he directed them over to a bench. He took a deep breath then started to spill his guts, "I hope you know that I care about you a lot. These past two years have been both the best and the worst years of my life. I just wanted to say that I am deeply in love with you. You're always on my mind and it kills me, because I know I don't mean that much to you. The only reason I haven't given up on our agreement earlier was because I didn't want to lose you. I love you so much and I can't keep it to myself anymore." He was on the verge of tears. This was the end he knew it, her face said it all.

And never did I think that I  
Would be caught in the way you got me

"Dean, look you're a nice guy and all, but I'm in love with Elizabeth. I always have and I always will. I think it would be best if we ended this now. I mean graduation is around the corner anyways. After we graduate, Elizabeth and I were planning on moving and getting married. I want you there Dean. You are honestly one of my best friends and I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to cause you pain. I guess what I am saying is I love you Dean, but I am not in love with you," she got up and started walking away, "don't worry about taking me home. Elizabeth's house is just down the street. I'll see you around. Goodbye Dean, it's been nice. Take care of yourself." Dean's heart broke into a million pieces. He jumped into his car and started driving home.

But girls love girls and boys  
And love is not a choice

It's been a week since he confessed his feelings and got rejected. He was too depressed to get out of bed. He hasn't showered, slept, and he barely ate or drank anything. You could see it in his face he lost a lot of weight. His face was sunken in and he had dark circles and bags under his eyes. He just wanted to end it. He wanted the pain to go away. Sam was almost an adult. He could take care of himself. He wouldn't miss him that much. Dean got up and went to his desk. He started writing a note that read,  
" Dear family and friends,  
I am sorry that you have to deal with the aftermath that is my life. I am sorry I wasn't enough. I hope that when you look back on memories of me they are happy and you're fond of them. Sam, don't ever blame yourself. I love you so much, little brother. I'll see you again someday. Dad, although we've been disagreeing a lot since mom died, I want you to know I forgive you and that I still loved you. To all my friends at school, don't be sad over me. Graduate, go to college, meet the love of your lives, get married, and start a family with them. I wish you all the best. Lastly, to the love of my life, my princess, and the best friend I've ever had, I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I want you to have a happy life with whoever you chose to live it. I know this will hurt you, but I can't live this worthless life anymore. I love you. I love you. I love you. Goodbye and take care of yourself. I'll see you all again one day.  
With love,  
Dean."  
By the end of it, he was a sobbing mess. He took the note with him to the bathroom. He opened his medicine cabinet and took out the pills he was prescribed after he had surgery. Dean sat on his bed, the bottle of pills in one hand and the note in the other. He tipped his head back and took all pills that were left in the bottle. He laid down on his bed with the note placed on his chest. He thought about his life while the drugs started taking effect. He thought about his family, friends, and his love. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He loved her so much, but she would never love him. His last thoughts were about how much she loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> I AM SO SORRY! I KNOW I'M EVIL!  
> Please leave a kudos or a comment if you liked it. I'd be down to take some request if you have any since I graduated high school recently, and I now have no life.
> 
> If you do give me a request, be patient with me. Also if I don't like the song I'll try my absolute best, but I draw the line at country songs. Sorry, I just can't stand them.


End file.
